As you can imagine, this was pretty exhausting and after awhile I did withdraw a bit. If this describes you, throw that louse out on his ear, get your confidence back, and you will go on to find a person who appreciates your inner and outer beauty. My brain couldn’t comprehend just abandoning a friend, even one you were semi-dating. When Linda left me on May 6th 2014, the day I injured my back in a construction accident, I was renting a house, drove an 04 Jetta which the finance company was looking for, was cleaning the house, all the laundry, cooked all the meals, even made her lunch every evening with a smiley face and “I love you” written on the bag, If we had steak or meat I would cut it up into little bites so she wouldn’t have to use those plastic knives. But that was just one of MANY passive aggressive ways she tried to sabotage me. We never really had a honeymoon period at all. I even moved any alcohol in my home to another building on my property. Be sure of yourself, and smile while you do it. I noticed a trash bag I had not put under the dinning room table. Very helpful, thank you. It worked at the beginning of our relationship, but by the end, I really did not want her to touch me. They made snide remarks such as, “You’re getting old”, “You don’t take care of yourself like you used to”, “You’ve gained weight”, “I don’t feel sexually attracted to you anymore”, and so on. But, my car is almost entirely unique looking. One night, we were in Belize on a private island for her birthday. This can be difficult, but if you know that they are wrong about something, don't fall for their charming attempts to get … I would recommend guided meditations for healing/self-esteem (Kelly Howell has some good ones), learning to release attachments, and books by Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra (they will help with spiritual growth). She then began defending her remark angrily when I objected to it. I cannot judge people. It can never work with a narcissist. “You don’t take care of yourself like you used to”, “You’re getting old.” or, “My new girlfriend thinks you’re too old for me.”, “I’m not sexually attracted to you anymore.”. Thanks for all your posts, they have helped me A LOT. Destination- Perth Australia. However, sometimes a narcissist may decide to break up with you for no obvious reason, leaving you wondering what went wrong. So, I fled to be in solitude and try to discern what is happening. She consistently projects as well, Calling me “the crazy one,” when I worry about her when she does not text me back or comes home late after supposedly working and has alcohol on her breath. The right side of my jaw is slightly unhinged. Take out the trash, polish up your self-esteem, and you’ll eventually find someone who won’t be able to keep their hands off of you. … You sound lovely. But my effing heart is in excruciating pain. I went from a confident, bold lover to the most terrified, self conscious, stressed child in bed. Thank you kind regards Bob. She sabotaged or raged through them all. If you’ve been discarded by the narcissist, you undoubtedly believe it’s because you weren’t good enough. Bleeeccchhhh! He said his older lever has come back and he is marrying him despite having children from the first one. I guess he will be back (despite of my email), but now the doors is closed. Why do men and women even get together at all and try to have relationships. I am still talking to her. I find the behavior is very up and down, like a roller coaster for sure. I thought I was a very strong and independent person, but since I have filed for divorce and moved into my own home I am a sorry weakling. You might enjoy my book, Your Love is My Drug: How to Shut Down a Narcissist, Detoxify Your Relationships & Live the Awesome Life You Really Deserve, Starting Right Now. (Another good reason to give them the boot). Wonderful and so very helpful article once again. The most common scenario is that the narcissist will act out and he’ll try anything in his power to get back the attention he craves. I was tired of it, and just wanted to avoid more emotional punishment and let her grill me for the next 1/2 hour about how I was pervert. I asked her “please when we get home, I need to go back to eating leaner foods. But, over 2 years, traveling the world, she destroyed every trip. I was a mess at that point. Not him. You want to get in, dole out some well deserved (in your eyes) revenge, and get out. Thank you and God Bless You! They will announce that their victim doesn’t deserve them anyway. Start your healing journey today! The good times were not even that good. Kudos! She angrily said “Why, are you planning something?” I felt confused and even thought she must be projecting that she has secret plans. We looked for underwear for her. Why? Just in one meeting my family knew something was wrong with the guy. She never discussed the letter at all. I’d like to preface this by saying to any commenters… PLEASE don’t tell me I don’t need the narcissist back in my life. Linda, at 43, had never left the country so I made sure she saw Paris and Athens, Santorini and Eleuthra.