We forget that we shouldn’t have to tell people what we need. Holley Shares How He Transformed Shame Into Empowerment After Being Diagnosed With HIV, You’re Never Going To Be ‘Enough’ (And That’s Okay), Maybe We Can’t Define Love, Maybe It Simply ‘Is’, 5 Misconceptions About Love That Are Keeping You From Finding It, Maybe To Find Real Love, We Need To Stop Giving Up On It. Loving someone and having them love you back is the most precious thing in the world. The last 4 months, my feelings were being played by a guy who one day, told me he just wanted to be FWB, but the next when I walked away, told me he wanted to commit, only to come to the final conclusion that … True love is something that must be freely given, it can not be forced or coerced. Maybe it’s because we get so wrapped up in the idea of love, the promise of forever. Don’t blame anyone for the situation. One thing I can tell for sure is that “LOVE CAN’T BE FORCED” & I can’t stress it enough. If they don’t, it’s probably because they are not interested in a future with you. 1.1K likes. Because the pieces fit. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. That goes for yourself as well as your partner. I don't know how to handle it. You will do anything to convince them to love you back. If you see that someone doesn't pay enough attention to you, don't try to justify them. I am not talking about the famous FRIENDZONE here. But understanding that you can’t force love will help you feel better about yourself, and possibly help you get the love that you want. If I had spent the last five years putting the same amount of effort into myself as I did chasing, controlling, and trying to get my ex to love me, I would have been president of the United States by now. We forget that love should be natural. See, the thing about love is that it’s inherent. When two people really love each other they always find a way to work it out, but if they don’t it really works and it is the sad truth. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. But somehow, as we get older and fall into serious relationships, we forget that simple fact. You can give feelings the time to develop naturally, but there are no shortcuts. Remember “SOMEONE is made for SOMEONE”. Don’t expect that because you … And it's not the end of the world. Falling in love with someone you can't have can seriously affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. You leave it there. See, the thing about love is that it’s inherent. You shouldn’t have to force someone to love, appreciate, or agree with you on anything. That we can make them become someone they’re not, someone we need, someone we’re supposed to be with? One thing I have learned in life is that don’t get too much emotionally attached to someone unless they are the same as you. November 30, 2020 at 9:21 PM. It is true that you cannot force another person to feel love for you. Be honest and ready to listen. Through all of this, be patient. My computer had recently crashed and he had an extra he could loan me, he said. I feel sad and lost. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. It will never help. You are all broken deep inside, are having bad thoughts in your mind, start thinking about different things. Maybe it is for your own good that you moved one and found someone much better than the one you used to like. Even though you can’t force anyone’s feelings for you, you can take steps to improve yourself and the relationship. Love doesn’t work like that. See, you shouldn’t have to force someone to love you. That’s a whole different concept. You can never force someone to love you until they really want to. We seek feedback from the people around us. – Evelyn Waugh. If you don’t trust your partner, get the hell out of that relationship right away. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Public Figure No matter how much effort you put, you always lack. The best way to deal with it is to make yourself busier. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. For someone who doesn’t want to love you back, you are never good enough. 5. share. And through all the crap, you keep fighting for each other. I've given him so many opportunities to show that he does love me, but he never takes any of those chances, and it breaks my heart. But you don’t and you try to force someone again and again. You love someone so much that you are ready to do anything for them. Love is not about asking someone to change, to bend, to become something they’re not. Love is about falling into something, someone where all the pieces just fit. I say ‘YES’. Hangout with your friend’s more often. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. You can buy yourself a pair of expensive shoes, a dazzling dress, and a stylish purse to match them, but you can’t buy the love of a real man. If you are someone who has no stuff to do all day then all you can think is “why me“? (God I wish it were that easy) You can’t force someone to be loyal, kind, understanding. Spend time together and be thoughtful and kind. From my experience no. When you … Whatever you do, don’t try to force it. We want closeness; we crave connection. You absolutely do not want someone who doesn’t want you. Invest in yourself. I tend to love backs and fronts of girls. Learn about us. After all, damn it, what does being in love mean if you can’t trust a person. Be open to the possibility of love if it comes and try to identify any ways in which you may be blocking genuine affection from blossoming. You won’t be able to share things, do things. https://psiloveyou.xyz/you-cant-force-someone-to-love-you-de63580298e9 Don’t try to be friends with someone you love, because if they don’t love you the way you do, it will become difficult for you to move on. Focus on who you are and being your best self. In this path of thought, if a man does not feel love for you, there’s little you can do to change this state of affairs. I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. Try to have mutual Feelings. Deep down, you want him to want to be in your life and fight to remain apart of it. And then you come to know that they don’t love you back. But the honest truth about loving someone you can’t be with is no matter how long you spend apart and grow on your own, those feelings don’t just go away. As children, we don’t have to be taught how to love—we just know. Even the language we commonly use (including many dating and relationship experts ) is that of trying to make someone love us by will power, manipulation or simply force. The earlier in your life you understand this,, the happier you’ll be. I have seen people who do this a lot. It causes anxiety that can cause you to behave unattractively which doesn’t help your cause in wanting to be loved. Sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re best without. By the time he was riding his motorcycle the three-and-a-half hours to my college the following … We forget that behind all the opposition, the fights, the struggles, the drama, the difficult parts—love is easy. You are better off with someone who loves you as much as you do. One thing I have noticed that people who are busy in their life can very easily deal with these types of situations. We forget that love isn’t about asking someone to change, or having someone demand that we be someone different. Not trying to change, not trying to force, not trying to make something happen—but letting life happen, letting love happen, realizing that two people become love, and it’s a damn beautiful thing. You can’t force someone to be the person you need them to be. Report Save. You can’t force someone to love you, But you can try to change their feelings for you. We aren’t instructed to want to be held, to cry when we need something, to reach out and touch another person when we see their smiling face. A person truly in love can never know the difference… !! Now the question arises, Can You Force Someone To Love You? Learn something about male psychology! Just imagine yourself in the following situation: if you don't want to go to a party or a date, how do you … I don't want to just give up, but I know that's the only thing I can do. We all know that we can’t force someone to love you, but that hasn’t stopped some of us from trying. Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same toward you, because one-sided love expectations can mentally destroy you. Start working out if you aren’t already. Even if you force someone to love you it will not be the same as loving someone with a full heart. You can’t make someone feel something they’re not quite ready to feel. ... You can't force them to love you the way you want. You Can’t Force Someone To Love You And most significantly: I adopted him as a result of I used to be emotionally in poor health. Tops and bottoms also. One of the biggest mistakes you can make when you experience unrequited love is looking for someone to blame for everything. You can bury them and hide them and even love again. Your email address will not be published. We shouldn’t have to force it, shouldn’t have to put expectations or rules on it, shouldn’t have to demand that it happens at a certain time or in a certain way. Love is not about trying to force pieces of a puzzle together. You can love him, love him and love him, but you can’t force him to love you in return. "You can't force someone to fall in love with you but, you can definitely improve your odds." We are going to tell you what to do in order to get over your unrequited love and start living a new life without the object of your passion. Don’t let these types of things destroy you emotionally. You’ve just confessed to someone that you love them, but sadly they don’t love you back. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. I own nothing but the edit. Someone once said, “It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.”. After that summer, I went back to school and started an on-again/off-again relationship with this guy, Ben, while keeping in touch with Jacob. You cannot make them express love to you nor experience the love that you offer.