There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. As a CEO or manager, it’s part of your job to make sure employees are mentally stimulated and feel like they’re growing professionally. Perhaps you notice your friend acting different or being quieter than usual. When people are going through something tough, often, they just want to be understood. When you want to ask someone to give you something and you feel you need to be polite, it’s always a good idea to “soften” the sentence — I like the phrase: “Would it be OK if I got your number?” 3. rev 2021.2.26.38670, The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, English Language Learners Stack Exchange works best with JavaScript enabled, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site, Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, Learn more about hiring developers or posting ads with us. If the person is scared to ask for help, tell them to call a suicide crisis like (like 1-800-SUICIDE) or. Do you want to talk about anything?” Try asking them twice if they give you a generic answer the first time to show you really care and are willing to listen. Is your arm getting better? If your friend or loved one isn’t ready to open up, don’t pressure them. There are plenty of things you can do to make an ailing SO feel better — like bring them soup, watch their favorite movies with them, or give them a foot massage — but sometimes even a … His leg is broken! One way to do this is to constantly communicate with your team. Don't worry specifically about what you say, your friend will appreciate you being there for them. 2. See if you can visit her sometime and talk to her in a private place. In such cases, after going through the above steps, the person typically feels better for having shared the burden on their heart, and the sadness runs its course. Colleague: "No! Which means they completely freak out when they can't think of what to say. Me: "Seriously, if you need anything, give me a call." There are two types of evidence on this issue. Why don't modern fighter aircraft hide their engine exhaust? If you want to make someone feel better, sometimes going out for a good night out and a few drinks is the perfect way to really talk it out and take their mind off their worries! Unscheduled exterminator attempted to enter my unit without notice or invitation. … (If you want to be funny) Hey, what do you think the neighbours will think if they see you lying like this. Dr. Lena Dicken is a Clinical Psychologist based in Santa Monica, California. They are sure to appreciate it! = I've just found out you broke your arm. If I can do anything to help you out, please let me know.” Sometimes they … Please consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. Is she OK? English Language Learners Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for speakers of other languages learning English. Dang (ouch, wow, sorry, oh no, your-choice-of-quick-empathetic-comment). How do you get someone to open up emotionally? How are they “physically” feeling: better, worse, same, new symptoms, associated symptoms, etc. I’ll do anything for you! How would you ask a person to remove one hand from a shirt? Joe: "Hi man." For example, if you're at your friend's house and their parents or siblings often interrupt, go somewhere where interruptions will not occur. ", Visual design changes to the review queues, 'That way' means something I didn't expect. Me: "How are you doing?" Me: "How's your bike?" Joe: "Oh I'm doing alright. I hope all is well with you. site design / logo © 2021 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under cc by-sa. It's best just to be there for them and empathize the best you can with what they are experiencing. You seem a little off lately,” or “How are you doing? So the next time you see them, you say, “Sweetie, how are you?” “Are you okay?” ... Tell the people in your life how you feel about them. Joe: "It's alright, just scratched up a bit." Try not to push the issue in your first conversation or two. Level 2: Personal Concerns This is where someone gets to know a person’s goals, values, and motivations. While you may feel awkward and unsure at first, know that whatever you say doesn't have to be profound or poetic. You ok?" You probably won’t be believed the first time you say this, but just keep saying it and believing it enough for both of you. If they’re very upset and you don’t think humor would be appropriate, text them to ask if they want to talk about the problem, and offer genuine support by saying things like, “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” or, “I’m here for you.” Adding too much information makes your main point less standing out, what is a good phrase for that? Let them know that you are there to talk about it. Thank you! Offer your support, but don’t try and solve their problems unless they ask for your advice. It is a myth that talking directly about suicide will put the idea in their head. If you don't know what to say, consider, “It sounds like this is difficult for you” or simply, 'That sucks.”, Say, “Thanks for opening up to me. Instead, use language that validates their feelings. Talk in the car, on a walk, or another private place. and leave it open ended. (This is more formal.) Just once, I would like to hear someone say, “I know you’re going through a rough time. Just listening, acknowledging their feelings, and letting them know you’re willing to help can make a big difference. Every dollar contributed enables us to keep providing high-quality how-to help to people like you. For starters, ask if they’re looking for advice or just a listening ear. Anytime I ask my friend to come over she says she's sick. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. Thanks for contributing an answer to English Language Learners Stack Exchange! Me: "How's your arm?" When someone’s depressed, they may feel the exact opposite. You might ask, “What are you thinking about doing about that?” Helping them formulate their own solutions can help them feel empowered. Try asking something like, "How have you been emotionally?" Write a letter, send an email or ask someone else to convey your message for you. Here are six questions you can ask your employees to ensure they … People ask, “How are you?” and if I say anything other than “Fine,” they immediately change the subject. The most important thing psychologists do is to ask good questions. Being there for better or for worse. Are you doing okay?”, You can also say, “You've been really secretive. <--- OR ---> Did I just messed up. Understand that it might take a few conversations for them to open up about whatever's going on. Honestly, this is also true for your friends and family. Joe: "Yeah that's for sure." Make it easy for them to get back to you. But with the arrival of COVID-19, the stakes are higher than ever. “Be done with someone” VS “Be through with somebody”. If I’m not feeling great, and someone asks how I am, I might say something like, “Could be better.” 2. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. It's hard to talk because it's awkward, but I really want to ask him. I think the key is to simply ask something like "How are you doing?" I hope this message finds you well. Joe: "Yeah it was stupid I caught the curb and fell over the front of my bike and hit a fire hydrant." Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers. Is she avoiding me? Ask if there’s anything else they want to tell you. = The answer is probably not, the accident happened a few days ago but it gives the sufferer the opportunity to talk about the excruciating pain he/she did experience at the time. It will begin to feel natural soon. Remember that you cannot 'fix' someone's problems. Sometimes people might give a generic answer if you just say, "How are you?" Sometimes it is important to get more insight about how someone is feeling about their job and the team in general, even if you aren’t new. Respect their decision and let them know you’re there if they do ever need to talk about anything. What do I do? How hard is it to hear direct signals from vehicles on the surface of Mars, and has anyone other than the DSN done so? Cooking them dinner shows you are making an effort to make them feel better and cheer them up. Then, tell him how you feel about him and ask him if he's okay and anything else you want to know about. Ask Mattering not Matter-of-Fact Questions. I had … How to refuse constant outside-office-hours meetings politely? 3. Once they have stated what they are thinking and talked through it, you can attempt to focus on a solution again. Avoid saying you know how they feel. For more tips from our co-author, including how to ask someone if they’re suicidal, read on. Sometimes a good hug helps someone feeling sad more than you can possibly imagine. or "How are you feeling?" This article has been viewed 92,075 times. The best way to tell if you like someone is to take your time and be aware of how you feel when they are around. "I Love The Person I … Just watching a lot of TV." A lot of people are worried about feeling vulnerable or sharing too much, so if you're honest and vulnerable about how you're doing, it creates safety for the other person to do the same. Me: "Sally told me you broke your arm. Try to stick to objective observations without adding any assumptions or accusations. How to just gain root permission without running anything? So I'm wondering if I can say. With over eight years of experience, Dr. Dicken specializes in therapy for anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship difficulties. Me: "Hi Joe it's CoolHandLouis." Is your arm better? It is better to express interest in the person’s well-being by starting with one of the following statements: I hope all is well. How do I decide between the prepositions “in” and “on”? The only reason most of us ask this question is because it would appear impolite not to ask. She is a licensed psychologist with the state of California. Deep Questions to Ask Someone You Like. If you're going to ask your friend if everything is okay, make sure you choose a good time to talk. For serious issues, you may have to go through this phase a number of times. In the same way you used "feeling any" in your first sentence, you can also use those words when asking about the broken arm: This reminded me of a conversation I had some years ago: Colleague: "I went hiking with [so-and-so] and he fell down a hill and broke his leg!" It is important to ask the person directly if they are feeling suicidal or if they have been thinking about suicide. Read … But it's not that silly. Joe: "Ok but I'm good. If you’ve ever faced a similar struggle, sharing your own experience can be really helpful and can show them that they’re not alone. Joe: "It's feeling better, thanks.". Me: "You know, those fire hydrants... they'll win every time." If it’s nighttime, when these feelings tend to come out, suggest they go to bed; everyone feels better in the morning. (For a cold, it makes more sense, because one gets a cold, feels bad for a while, and then feels better, but it's not visible to the question-asker exactly when the cold-sufferer is feeling better.). I want you to be well. "= I know for a fact your arm is very nearly healed, it's been almost a month and I don't know what else to ask you. Second Call Dialog: Me: "Hey Joe." They could talk to someone in their life. If you know someone feeling sad, hugging it out is really comforting. By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy. Third, tell the person at risk that you care and want to help. Only a doctor would be concerned with that. Me: "Let me know if you need any help with anything. She most likely is not okay, and she might be avoiding you because she doesn't want to tell you what's really going on. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. Last Updated: February 24, 2021 Knowing what to say to someone who is depressed isn't always easy. Dr. Dicken’s work has been featured in GOOP, The Chalkboard Magazine, and in numerous other articles and podcasts. On the test of the fixed effects parameters in glmer (stepwise selection). OR -I’m not feeling so hot these days-I’ve been better or (“been better”)-I haven’t been feeling so great lately-I’m still battling these migraines, stomach aches, etc . Then ask her if she doesn't like reading messages from you and would she rather you called or visited next time. Specifically, where they fall on the Big 5 spectrum: how high or low they are in Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. Here are some places to start. Don’t force a one-on-one conversation. See our overview of the personality traits here. If it doesn’t come natural to you, all the more reason to do it more often. (NOTE: This is more formal but sincere, and good for just about anything wrong.) Addressing Your Concerns 1 Take a friendly yet concerned approach. You can beat this.’The hopelessness of depression stands with its arms crossed, blocking the door to anything better. If you’re still concerned over time, look for opportunities when they might be more receptive to the conversation. #7 Be okay with silence. Dr. Dicken holds a BS in Integrative Medicine from the University of Hawaii at Manoa, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University Los Angeles, and a Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology at Westwood. Then, ask them something like, “Are you okay? These questions can be asked in a formal setting, such as a one-on-one, or in an informal setting, such as over lunch. What if I already did the "I know how you feel" what can I do? It if feels appropriate, you could place a hand on their shoulder to let them know you care. 1. or "How has the past year affected you?" Very few people we know make us want to be better people, so when we come across those people who do and we tell them, it’s going to make their heart soar. If you are still feeling confused about your feelings, or want to know tried-and-true ways to move forward with that person, there are tools available. What was the last non-monolithic CPU to come to market? Try to simply listen and empathize for a bit before offering any advice. Sit facing them and make eye contact when you speak. Tell them you’re someone they can talk to if they ever need to. I have mentioned a few times how listening is often enough when responding to someone who is angry. My friend sees my message but doesn't reply, so what should I do? 4. After the call, offer to help them find a mental health professional or follow up on whatever suggestions the hotline operator made. They needed to vent, and you were there to listen. 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