But when I ask him what's wrong or why he is upset, he won't tell me. Some girls don’t like to talk about why they’re so upset. If you are not sure what you have done wrong, you may want to start the conversation by asking her directly why she is upset at you. She's annoyed with me and won't tell me why - Said not to worry about it (dates, wife) User Name: Remember Me: Password : Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! My girlfriend [18F] won't tell me [17M] why she's upset. 01/06/2016 12:32 pm ET Updated Jan 06, 2017 Young couple having relationship difficulties, outdoor shot One of the most frequently-voiced complaints that we hear from our clients and students (and admittedly, it usually tends to be women who we are hearing it from) is "He won't talk to me." She’s afraid to tell you the truth in case it makes you angry. I hope you're OK and I hope you're having a good day. " I'll be here for whenever you want to chat" with her final reply being "ok". She will hope she is able to send you signals by acting in a way that just makes you feel like dirt, and that will make you just leave. He is frightened of your reaction. 1. I don't even know. Your friend may be so upset that he or she isn't looking out for his or her health or comfort. When our arguments were “resolved,” the resolution was usually that I had to work on myself because I was overreacting or my expectations were unreasonable. Well, tonight I got a little snippy with him when he started doing it because he always does it. So for the past few days my girlfriend has been a little on edge and seems a little distant. If you want to divorce, I also don’t recommend you get the gory details. I even sent mean texts. A lot of times when we talk or hang out, one minute he's happy and joking around with me, and the next minute he's angry or annoyed or upset, and he will never tell me why. One thing that has been consistent for the time we have been together is that when something upsets her she turns into a totally different person. To fix this, try giving her a snack. The person you love is upset, angry or tormented and this pains you. K so my friend came to school this morning... upset. As both a couples counselor and a therapist who treats primarily women, I totally understand what you are going through. I told her "I understand. He’d tell me what the right angle was, and I’d feel guilty for not seeing things that way in the first place. For me, it turned out that she found out a guy was going to go inside a church when she was there and kill a bunch of people, but he couldn't do it and talked to the pastor and threw away his weapons. Because women do not like to intentionally inflict pain if the person she no longer cares about did things and still does for her kids. "I can't get him to open up. If this is the case, just tell her that you care and let her cry it out. But that’s exactly why she won’t. The second kind of liar is what I call the “protective liar.” That means that when she feels that the truth will hurt you, she won’t tell you the truth. Is she still is reticent, share some of your guesses why she could be holding out. Girlfriend won’t tell me what’s wrong. You are a problem solver and you need to fix the problem … I cannot be mad at her, because she did something for me that I don’t think even she will understand. If she doesn’t want to tell you, don’t pressure her. Can you tell me why?” Don't ask her this if you have any suspicion as to why she may be upset. And most of the time, even if someone does ask her what’s wrong, she won’t say a word. Take it off their already crowded plate. And she won’t tell you. But as days past I felt her distancing away. I left her a few voicemails, no call back from her. “It could be something as simple as you’ve forgotten to feed them,” Olshavsky says. A ROYAL author and close friend of Princess Diana claims Prince Harry is "barely recognisable” and that Meghan Markle “always planned to leave the … If you want to reconcile I recommend you do not get the gory details. Hmm this happened to me too. If she's upset in class and can't focus, take some notes for her. “She won't tell me what's wrong, but she's been crying for hours and she can't catch a breath,” said Lisa, the mom of one of my adolescent clients. She's annoyed with me and won't tell me why - Said not to worry about it User Name: Remember Me: Password ... As a matter of fact she just texted me: "Hey, I promise I haven't been ignoring you. Maybe she isn’t ready to be met with rejection and silence. Some girls don’t like to talk about why they’re so upset. Why she’s upset may be more of a mystery. She responds to the mean texts only, defending herself. Another possible reason why your ex won’t tell you why she broke up with you is… 5. So that's a little extreme but she wouldn't tell me why she was upset for a long time. Either she hides it altogether or she slants what she says in hopes that will somehow reduce the negative effect it will have on you. Relationships. Now I'm upset, this woman can't speak sentences. 4. Yeahhh and she ignored me for the whole day. About something I did? I did tell her that I wish I knew what it was so that I could make things right, but told her I wouldn't pressure her. Keep calm as crying or getting angry with make her clam up. I say I care to much to believe that he's fine, but he just smiles, and hugs me. She set me free from a horrible sin, and reached into my soul, pulling out the very best in me. I ask him if he's going to tell me at lunch, or later, and he always replies that he won't or "probably not" and then smiles. Apparently her vocabulary has been minimized to "Ok" and "No". You expect honesty in all dealings and especially from those close to you. She’ll act like she’s just tired or out of it. 4. Do not think that your friend will feel better if you open a bottle of wine or bring over a six pack. There are a variety of reasons why your husband won’t open up – beyond thinking you won’t find out the details of his affair. I know when he's upset. I love her. I miss her. Also, she left you so she feels it is none of your business and will probably not tell you if she is seeing someone or not. She’s the type of girl that claims she’s fine even though she’s dying inside. I want her back. Me (15) and my boyfriend (18) have been going out for 7 months. Or maybe she’s still praying one day you’ll wake up and realize you love her too. Doing so will likely make her even more angry at you. I would want her to comfort me. I acted like it didn't phase me... and it almost didn't, after a while. She won’t respond to nice texts, where I tell her how nice she is, how I want to support her, live near her mom, etc. I honestly didn't make it about me. Recently, she's fine in person, but while texting she's slow to respond and doesn't say much, but what she does say always seems like she's in a bad mood. While there were some rather unpleasant responses (like the guy who called me a pussy for being upset or the woman who messaged me to say that if I couldn’t satisfy my girlfriend I should let better men do so because she deserved it) the overwhelming majority were kind and sympathetic. However, if I did something wrong I wish she would tell me, so I can have some form of closure. The next day, she posts about not moving on from her ex and that she commit to anyone. Or she knows its going to devastate him and cannot bear being “The mean one”. I just thought it was stupid that she wouldn't tell me why she was mad. Secretly, she may be hoping that her barely-there feelings for him will grow over time. She becomes very quiet and cut off from everyone. She seems mad at me and won’t talk to me at all. I'd want her to tell me it's Ok that I'm upset and not judge me. I have worked with cheating husbands and cheating wives. She loves you enough to not say it because maybe she’s still holding onto a little bit of hope. She might just need some space. I gave her space, and when she said she was still upset, I asked if there was anything I could do to help. Maybe some would argue if she loved you enough she’d take the chance. Sometimes, a woman will get into a relationship with a man that she’s not fully attracted to, simply because he’s a good man. Alcohol is never the solution if a friend is upset-- it is literally classified as a depressant. She's annoyed with me and won't tell me why - Said not to worry about it (date, woman) User Name: Remember Me: Password Please ... and that I did not mean to annoy her or upset her in any way. You may say, “I'm aware you're upset at me, but I'm not sure why. You suffer the emotional contagion arising from this and feel our pain as your own and with any pain you want to make it stop. Obviously, you shouldn't let her take advantage of you. Most people dont like that pressure so if you want a chance of knowing then back off and let the situation mellow out for a while then try to ask again. Making someone feel oversensitive and unreasonable is gaslighting. I haven't replied yet. asking her questions and contacting her all the time will only push her farther away! And that seemed to annoy her. Soooo I decided to just act normal. Apologize and make amends. 01-13-2021, 10:12 AM ManApplet : Location: Wisco Disco. Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Acknowledge your faults – if you are really somebody who is likely to retaliate – but explain why you’ve decided this wouldn’t be a good idea (ie: it will let even more people into the secret and just make everything worse). It's making me mad and I have no understanding of the why. So, here’s my advice: talk to him and ask him if he’s willing to see a therapist. He shows it VERY well. That's where you come in. I couldn’t respond to most because there were so many but I assure you, you are appreciated. So now I'm stuck trying to figure what to do because she doesn't want to tell me and she's ignoring me. I broke up with her, twice, and don’t know how to get her to respond to me. If she needs to put gas in her car, do it for her. It won't take long to put an extra effort into your relationship and it will help her feel less overwhelmed. Doesn't try to hide it. But part of the reason I shut down is because people would often minimize what I was upset or anxious about, which just made me mad at myself for being upset or anxious about it in the first place. By showing this same compassion towards my own son, I'm starting to let go of that judgement I have towards myself that I'm too sensitive. That’s the similar thing that happened to me, I was talking with this girl for three months and she would tell me that she loved me and we would talk daily, and I asked her out on the third month and she said she wasn’t ready so I gave her time. I also told her I won't pressure her to talk and that she can talk when she is ready. When she’s upset, she doesn’t spill her feelings unless someone asks her how she’s doing. Don't Give Up When He (Or She) Won't Open Up. He probably thinks you will get upset, cry and get angry and he tells himself: ‘It’s over now, so why put her (and myself) through the aggravation. I fell asleep thinking about everything last night, and this morning has been crazy at work. You expect us to be honest and tell you what is annoying us. I (23m) and my (20f) girlfriend have been dating for about 2 years now.